40 Tips for Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile.  It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to __________ today.’

5. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in last year .

7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum t hat appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.

18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. REMEMBER GOD heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends will.  Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!)

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I  am

 thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly  don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.  I just did.

Click Here to get 40 Tips for Better Life

Sent to Dad from his Daughter Carlene. See my blog www.EricKirkhuff.com to get a copy

All blood work is normal. She was up early, ate,  and is getting treadmill and general tests.  She has to have her stent replaced and if she comes up normal, that will happen Tuesday.

 You can call her later today, I figure around 10:30 would be good.

She is in Room 207, her charge nurse is Jennifer, 949-764-4624.

Tuesday  10-15

Gma went home ok. Gayle is doing fine also.

Meanwhile…Gma is still in the ER for overnight observation taken in by Gayle all day Sunday. Gayle…being the trooper she is, stayed with Gma all day. Gma went in with complaining of chest pains on Saturday evening. She has had so much head and face pain since her Gama Knife proceedure. The doctor did this proceedure to avoid the more invasive operation which he has put her on the list for. They are going to operate through the lower back of the skull, and move or pad the offending blood vessel that is rubbing against the Trigeminal nerve that has been paining her for the past 25 years.

Not to be overshadowed by the draining intensitnal shunt that has to be replaced every 60 days for an enlarged gaull stone that cannot be removed or broken down at this time.  She has been on pain pills and muscle relaxors. She hates taking pills and I do not blame her. She has been very much disoriented most of the time, but still her funny self pops out from time to time. She has put off her shunt replacement for a week or so because of her pain and now the ER.

O…not to mention the Dog. Patches as we mentioned earlier, was laid to rest Saturday, so we were all recovering from that. The loss hit Gayle especially hard as Patches would greet her every day for a treat and a warm good morning.

Back at the house, Kimmie and I were on a mission to prepare the house and shink the  monumental laundry pile that haunts Gayle and Kimmie, pretty much every day.
The idea was to take some of the load and guilt which moms tend to have when going in for a any kind of medical proceedure.

It is about 7:45AM and Gayle should be out of surgery by 8:00AM and after recovery, we can go home.

I am so fortunate to have my work allow me to be somewhat remote, with such a great crew that tells me just to take care of business and they will hold down the fort.  Thankx team.

Gayle, will not be moving for most of the first few days so I will be on duty tending to her needs and the house. Kimmie will be my every faithful help mate.

It is now 8:45AM and Gayle just got our of surgery. Dr. Yaru said that it went well and that should should be in shape, going to take her home in a few minutes.

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My G-Ma has a sense of humor. When she comes in the room and says “who’s here?”, someone will say…. “Marco” and she will more than likely respond with “polo”.

Lately, her site has really been an issue. With her pills, she will go and stand next to the box, thinking it is time to take the pills. Her site is so limited, she counts the squares (provided the box is right-side up) and then opens the box and tries to get the pills without dropping one. She will also drop one just holding them in her hand. Once a week, my wife or I sit down and load her pill box with EXACTLY what she needs.

She has to take Lirica for her TMJ, which is known for deteriorating the eyesight. Hopefully, we can help her our to regain some of her site as it is getting worse by the month.

Well, that is not good enough for G-Ma. She needs to count them and see them to make sure we have not done anything wrong. Also, when to take the pill. They can be very tricky about not taking a pill, hoping you will not remember and they don’t take them.

Good luck, on this one,

 Os, so her eyes, which is why we are discussing this. My uncle had terrible Macular, almost blind, and went to an eye and Macular specialist in Arizona.  Within two weeks he was seeing 20/20, no joke.  I do not know the process works but it is for real and not holistic or anything like that.

So we got the referral from the doctor in Arizona to Dr. Seabag in Huntington Beach, CA because Dr. Seabag is local to our area. His phone number is 714 901-7777. It turns out that I know of the Dr. from years ago and I understand he and his colleagues are wonderful.

The process takes two or three sessions, from what I understand, a few hours at a time, and has a real good success rate with both wet and dry Macular.

I will let you know how it goes over the next few weeks. It would be a real blessing to my mother-in-law if she can regain some of her site.

Your at work, you have two deadlines to make and the phone rings, a family member calls you, IM’s or text you with “Mom or Dad just went to the hospital”. You really do not know what to do and your trying to figure out who is going to visit them in the hospital or help them.

Many things go through your head, most of them filled with guilt. You ask yourself “what do I do? Go visit them, but they are hours, days, a plane trip away? Get further behind in my work, lose my job?” So …you deal with it. You call the doctors office or your family member and find out just how bad it is. More guilt. Ok, so you found out it is nothing much and they are going back home today. No harm…no foul…. You dodged that one.

Three weeks later, the same thing happens, only this is not looking good. You get ready to pack your office up, make your phone calls, tell your boss and collegues you got to go and you will let them know what is up once you get on the road or later that day.

As your preparing to go to or driving / flying,  on your way to your Seniors, you come up with lots of questions and feelings.

They keep you awake at night and also make working distracted.

Just remember, in most normal homes, they had the same feelings when you were 2years old…. be paitient, be kind, and be understanding.

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1-5-2008 – Maybe you can relate to this when dealing with a Senior Family Member Stand-up Comedy Video

The team at HPC has been in service for the past 5 years, approximately since 2002. They provide pre and post pregnancy prevention and awareness along with caring support for Women.

I have a young daughter got on board when I understood that HPC HorizonPC.org placed an emphasis on pregnancy prevention. They go to organizations and churches and open the door to a discussions that is rarely discussed.

Great group and they are in transition to raising funds to bring a clinical doctor and an imaging machine. The imaging machine has a high percentage of taking the baby full-term whe n the patient sees that the baby is real as ownership starts to take place, preventing Termination.

Get involved, visit, donate, or volunteer

The one thing you have to work on during this process when you see that YOU alone are that you feel like you are doing 99% of the work, and covering all the incidental cost to make it happen. And of course nobody in the family sends checks or offers to pay for something. Most of the time it’s all YOU.. What is up with that? This one-sided deal is repeated all of the world, specifically in the U.S. because most family members just can’t or do not want to participate…they just don’t get it.

Unless you have a perfectly functional family I suggest you do the following.
“BUILD A BRIDGE…AND THEN GET OVER IT”

There are many stages of the moving, storing, and managing your Senior(s) crap. Caring for their stuff is one of the biggest pains and ongoing issues you will ever experience. Word to the wise…start tossing some of your own stuff to make room for theirs when it happens…

If you are in your late 40′s and 50′s, try asking a friend what they did with their parents stuff when they were around or alive. I am certain you will get a sigh or a snicker, or a even a blirt of emotion, followed by a colorful story. Listen to their story, it will help you better understand them.

I will do my best to give you a chronological list of the stages and highlights of the Senior in transition process. Hopefully, you can wrap your head around this being an ongoing process. Understand that you are not alone. There are many many others that are going through these things they have had the the same or similar things happen to you, …. Trust me, you will live through it with grace so you can keep your shrink bills will be at a minimum.

My wife’s side of the family has a very good sense of humor. Moving my mother-in-law could have been worse, and yes, we had our moments. My Mother-In-Law, I will now affectionately refer to as “G-Ma”. G-Ma went kicking and screaming moving all the way from Las Vegas Nevada, to our home in Huntington Beach / Fountain Valley…LOL.

As the caregiver, we do it all with love and determination. Please free to comment in this blog and let me know if you would like to be an author. I think this part of life’s stages is fascinating and it is rarely openly discussed.
I think that the responses to this blog will be active. Below are the general stages of a Senior in Transition.

1. 911 Long distance Health Care
2. Driving costs, now gas considerations
3. Stress on the job or at work
4. Alternatives – Discussions
5. Brothers, Sisters, and Relatives
6. Making room and Alternatives
7. Family meetings
8. Denial
9. Finances – Reality
10. Downsizing – Tossing, giving away, selling, buying stuff back….LOL
11. More Stress
12. Local Doctors
13. Friends, leaving friends
14. Moving to a better place
15. Settling In
16. Pill Control – “Pill Nazi”
17. Reaching out…..Stay-tuned

Recap Video – 12-25-2008 –

I am happily married guy with a family of three. Two years ago my wife’s mother moved in with us and it was my idea. We built a room for her to live in with all the amenities. Everyone who hears my mother-in-law lives with us freaks out as you always hear most mother-in-law’s are nightmares.

I got a gem with my mother-in-law who although is always sick, but she is a gem. We call her “G-Ma”. Grandma said the nick name would never stick…..then one day, at a weeding reception, all the kids were referring to her as “G-Ma”.

Living and caring for any family member is never easy. My wife is patient, but still it wears on a person. She is truly a care giver and devoted to her family and a homeschooler. I try to help when I can. Luckily, I am able to stay home at times to help her.

But this is really about G-Ma and all the G-Ma’s in the world. As time goes on, the baby boomers are having to deal with this growing trend. Most do not handle it too well. If you are still reading this, I have struck a nerve. Well, I have assembled some anecdote’s that you may be able to totally relate.

The Car -

The car, with respect to elders is just like you were 15 years old. It is like when you were 15-16 years old and it was one of the most important things for a Senior. As an adult, you get to re-live this feeling all over again. You will feel like you just left the Twilight Zone.

For example, your family and the Senior cannot figure out where all the car dents and tire scrapes came from. And Oh… the way the Senior reads the paper or reads the mail makes you wonder….how come she has not driven off a bridge, light post, or into the ocean….

Then, reality sets in…. something big happens…the Senior does not pass their driver’s test or they get multiple dumb tickets or run hit your own car.

Now what are you going to do if she lives with you? When your Senior gets in an accident, who’s house do you think the the cops going to come to? …Yours, that’s right…

Your Senior’s eyes start fading anywhere from 60-85 years old. My parents are still driving and I think they got a minimum of five more years of driving to go. They live two hrs away. If they start having trouble with their sight, then you and your wife need to discuss what your going to do. You will need to discuss when you have to tak the car away from your MOM or DAD,….that is NOT a fun one.

This is where the the reference to 16 year old comes up. When told they can no longer drive, your Senior says something like…”You can’t take the car away from me!!”,,,,”it is MINE…I paid for it!!!!”, your not in charge of me!!..I am not dead yet.

It’s not easy as you really are taking away their independence. The suggestion of taking the car away has it’s tool, but you know it is right. So…One day, maybe you cave in give them keys back for a short trip to the store. You then realize you might have made a mistake when your watching them pull out of the driveway or steet. It is all guilt. .REMEMBER, Your an adult and you know what is best for the aging Senior. My advice….Stick to your guts, and use your instincts on this one. You will be glad you did. You can be liable if they hurt or kill someone on your watch..

Stay Tuned for Moving and Storage of their Crap -