Caring for the aging is NOT easy

Ok, so I grew up in a home that had my Grandmother live with us most of my life, like 15 or our 18 years while I was at home. I escaped to Hawaii at 19.

I am happily married guy with a family of three. Two years ago my wife’s mother moved in with us and it was my idea. We built a room for her to live in with all the amenities. Everyone who hears my mother-in-law lives with us freaks out as you always hear most mother-in-law’s are nightmares.

I got a gem with my mother-in-law who although is always sick, but she is a gem. We call her “G-Ma”. Grandma said the nick name would never stick…..then one day, at a weeding reception, all the kids were referring to her as “G-Ma”.

Living and caring for any family member is never easy. My wife is patient, but still it wears on a person. She is truly a care giver and devoted to her family and a homeschooler. I try to help when I can. Luckily, I am able to stay home at times to help her.

But this is really about G-Ma and all the G-Ma’s in the world. As time goes on, the baby boomers are having to deal with this growing trend. Most do not handle it too well. If you are still reading this, I have struck a nerve. Well, I have assembled some anecdote’s that you may be able to totally relate.

The Car -

The car, with respect to elders is just like you were 15 years old. It is like when you were 15-16 years old and it was one of the most important things for a Senior. As an adult, you get to re-live this feeling all over again. You will feel like you just left the Twilight Zone.

For example, your family and the Senior cannot figure out where all the car dents and tire scrapes came from. And Oh… the way the Senior reads the paper or reads the mail makes you wonder….how come she has not driven off a bridge, light post, or into the ocean….

Then, reality sets in…. something big happens…the Senior does not pass their driver’s test or they get multiple dumb tickets or run hit your own car.

Now what are you going to do if she lives with you? When your Senior gets in an accident, who’s house do you think the the cops going to come to? …Yours, that’s right…

Your Senior’s eyes start fading anywhere from 60-85 years old. My parents are still driving and I think they got a minimum of five more years of driving to go. They live two hrs away. If they start having trouble with their sight, then you and your wife need to discuss what your going to do. You will need to discuss when you have to tak the car away from your MOM or DAD,….that is NOT a fun one.

This is where the the reference to 16 year old comes up. When told they can no longer drive, your Senior says something like…”You can’t take the car away from me!!”,,,,”it is MINE…I paid for it!!!!”, your not in charge of me!!..I am not dead yet.

It’s not easy as you really are taking away their independence. The suggestion of taking the car away has it’s tool, but you know it is right. So…One day, maybe you cave in give them keys back for a short trip to the store. You then realize you might have made a mistake when your watching them pull out of the driveway or steet. It is all guilt. .REMEMBER, Your an adult and you know what is best for the aging Senior. My advice….Stick to your guts, and use your instincts on this one. You will be glad you did. You can be liable if they hurt or kill someone on your watch..

Stay Tuned for Moving and Storage of their Crap -